The Struggles Of Their Destiny
by Freakydeirdre
Summary: They were meant to be together, right from the start....Weren't they? This story shows the trials of their relationship until/if peace finds them. Eventually turns angst. Characters: Hitsugaya, Matsumoto, Ichimaru, Hinamori.
1. Chapter 1

**The Struggles Of Their Destiny.**

**Chapter – 1**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.**

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"Captain! ", Matsumoto whined her lips pouted, "I want to go play with Shinsui and the others."

Toshiro furrowed his brow at the idea of his Vice Captain drunk with the other Captains and lieutenants. Even though they were semi-respectable men and were probably used to her flirtatious quirks, he knew that the temptation that followed Matsumoto was great. He would know as he would often find himself mesmerised by her just being herself.

"No, you have work to do," he mumbled his eyes closed as he prepared himself for the onslaught of complaints she was about to give.

"Captain…Stop being so harsh. Can't I have fun once in a while?"

"You have too much fun Matsumoto," he said wearily, "I've had this conversation too many times so just get to work and spare me."

He was tired from having done all the work he volunteered to take on from Captain Ukitake's squad. He was bedridden again.

"Well then, Captain? I just have to play with you now don't I?"

"What now!" Toshiro demanded.

"Oh Captain! Don't tell me you forgot? I mean how could you? It was your first time!" She giggled.

"Uh…Toshiro stammered caught of guard as he gazed at her luscious hair.

"Be quiet Matsumoto!" He hissed at the infuriating woman regaining his composure.

"Hm? Captain no one can hear me or you. I thought we proved that a few nights ago," she whispered seductively. Her eyelids closed lazily over her crazed lust filled eyes. Her head was tilted to the side and her mouth held a small smug smile that showed she knew she had won.

The silver haired Captain's firm and cold demeanour was lost as his eyes widened and his hand gripped his desk as he realized what his Lieutenant wanted him to do. He knew that that in this game he permitted, it would be a while before he could claim control. Toshiro's cheeks flushed as he remembered the pleasure he felt from the first orgasm with this most beautiful woman in front of him. He recalled distinctly her growled whisper in his ear that just this once she'd do all the work but he'd better pick up fast.

His touches were short and unsure, his tongue hesitant and in need of direction. She was patient and willing to teach. He was already hers and she was more than ready to be his. Her moans and groans were pointers, her chuckles and weary signs warnings. She took the liberty of undressing both of them wanting this session to move along. She was a grown woman experienced and geared up. He was a young teen, barely tainted and vacillated. The thought of the exotic captain inside of her thrilled her. She was proud of the fact she was his first eyes unable to part from his that were so determined. She gasped as he thrust into her with all her force. She was shocked at how fast he learned and did not need her instruction. The thrusts were steady and each time his dick brushed against her clit. She gripped the sides of the bed, her body drenched in sweat. She screamed his name as she came. He pulled out and came as well. He fell on top of her looking into her glazed eyes.

"How did I do?" he panted.

"Good for your first time pleasuring someone," she replied slightly in awe.

_Well he is a prodigy _she thought to herself as settled into the bed.

"I have a good teacher," he whispered as he placed his head on her chest.

"We have to work on foreplay," she decided as she pushed her wet hair way from her fore head.

He stared at her angelic features. Her silky hair neat hair was wet and tussled. Her eyes were wide and lips moist, her skin red and her body limp. She looked vulnerable and needy. His heart ached as he rolled of her. The knowledge that there were others who had seen this heavenly image made him sick. He knew he had to work hard to erase her memory of every other man she had ever been with and he was willing to accept the challenge. She would be completely his.

Matsumoto sighed as she saw the loving, needy, lustful Captain she knew in the night transform into the cold hearted, stoic Captain the rest of the world knew.

"Matsumoto, behave yourself," he said sternly however his face glowed red at her nakedness.

"I just wanna a kiss," she said sadly, "We don't get to fool around for a while."

Toshiro sighed, his eyes closed, mouth in a grim line.

"Matsumoto, I have a meeting in ten minutes," he complained but allowed her to kiss him anyway.

"You're so cute when you're angry Captain!" Matsumoto sang later that day.

Toshiro was irritated, grumpy and drained after the five hour meeting he had with Captain Yamamoto on the remaining arrancar after their battle over Karakura Town. He got a cup of coffee as he headed back to his office hoping to see the paper work that he had left Matsumoto with done after all the threats he had made to replace her. He met his office empty the paper work on her desk untouched.

"That woman!" he growled as he transferred the work to his desk and began filling the sheet out. Two hours later he had worked up enough rage that his face was beet red. He heard his grey-eyed lieutenant tip toe quietly in the room to get her purse.

"Matsumoto!" he yelled furious.

"Ai! Captain!" she answered frighten.

"I am cutting your pay for this," he stated as he pointed to the stack of papers that should have been done by her.

"Oh?" she replied as she leaned over his table her massive chest in his face. He remained unfazed and gave her a deadly stare.

She blinked and bit her lip, Please Captain, I'm sorry …"

"Whatever Matsumoto," he said rubbing his temples, "just sit by your desk and fill out this," he said pulling papers out of hidden in his drawer.

"Boy, Captain with you the work never ends," she said as she slowly walked to her desk and started on her work lazily.

Toshiro found himself unable to tear his eyes away from her as she observed how her long lashed brushed against her cheeks that looked as if they were dusted with pink petals and the way her lips formed a frown as her hand danced across with the pen planting her neat penmanship. He knew that he was falling in love with her after all those years of denying it. He realized that he needed his Vice-Captain no matter what threats he made. She was the life of his dreary existence and without her he would become an old man trapped in a teen's body and soon a hollow shell.

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**Author's Note: I hope you enjoy this! Please review!  
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	2. Chapter 2

**The Struggles Of Their Destiny.**

**Chapter – 2.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own bleach. If I did it would be rated M due to the surplus of lemony content!**

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"Matsumoto I'm not going to that. Don't be an idiot," Toshiro said before sipping at his green tea and picking at some unidentifiable objects of food on his plate.

"Come on Toshiro," she said getting tired of whining and begging, "It'll be fun. You don't have to be so serious all the time."

Toshiro stared at her blankly before dumping the contents of his plate in a bin next to his desk.

"Okay then," she sighed, "I'll do everything you order me to do for the rest of the week with out complaint."

Toshiro propped his head up with his hand with a sly smirk on his face.

"I like the idea but I am not stupid you know you do not keep to your word," he answered.

"So then Captain, I guess I'll have to find someone else as my date," she replied as she sat by her desk and began placing some of the items on top of it into her purse.

"Yeah, you go do that," he murmured while flipping through a thick old book.

His eyes widened as he visualized the situation of Matsumoto drunk with her date_. Nothing will happen_ he thought. _She's a grown woman and she's been to god alone knows how many events like th_at. His eyes flickered to her with scrutiny.

"I can't believe you agreed to this! I knew you couldn't resist my beauty!" she sang childishly as she dragged him down the hall, "We're of to Yumichi's party!"

"Hello everyone!" the orange tinted red head woman yelled as they entered the room. "Look who I've brought! My cute little Captain!"

"Hey look icy came to my party Kenny! If I known he'd come I'd have sent him one of my pretty bunny invitations!" the pink haired girl said while pointing at Toshiro.

"Well, Well. Looks like the kid is finally loosening up, eh Ukitake," Shunsui murmured, "It takes a hell of a woman to be able to do that but I'm sure my Nanao could have done it faster."

"Uh…" Ukitake answered scratching his head.

"Right my pretty Nanao!" he said putting his hand around her shoulders.

"Get off !" she whispered harshly," How many times have I said no familiarity in public!"

"This is shocking. Every single Captain and Lieutenant is here besides the first division," Toshiro said as he sat next to Matsumoto and Hisagi who were all ready dunking down two shots of sake at a time, "Even Soi Fong is here."

"Yep!" Matsumoto answered nodding her head, "You'll see a new side to all of them alright especially as you have never seen them drunk!"

Hisagi nodded his head in agreement.

"Well, I can't say I am enjoying this," Toshiro grumbled.

"Relax grandpa," Renji said, " You just got here! Hey I don't think I've ever seen you drink or dance?"

"Now why would I want to do something like that, it's so silly," he answered giving him a mean glare.

"Humph, You're just like Byakuya except he drinks," the tattooed lieutenant said.

"I couldn't careless-," Toshiro began but was interrupted by Matsumoto.

"Let's go dance guys and stop bothering my Captain," she said as she had felt a considerable drop in temperature and knew Toshiro was angry, " Coming teichou?"

"Obviously not, Matsumoto." he answered rolling his eyes.

"Oh well," she sighed giving him a quick kiss on the lips, "I try my best maybe when you see how much fun it is you'll come join us."

Yumichi was swaying her pink little head to the music while sitting on drunk Kenpachi's shoulders.

Each Captain and Lieutenant was drunk and a quite tipsy and embarrassed themselves in their own ways however for the amount of liquor Matsumoto drank Toshiro thought her dance moves were amazingly graceful and steady.

Toshiro reddened as her watched her hips sway and her hands moving from her body to the air around her and then back again. Her hair sprayed around her as she took the spotlight. She twirled around Ikkaku and then shifted to Hisagi. His hands on her waist as they performed a dance step in unison. Renji moved in to join them as he swiftly dropped to the floor and rose back up one of his hands trailing against Matsumoto's leg.

Toshiro felt his blood boil with anger, shame and lust. He detested the way those Lieutenants had their hands on the woman he loved and not to mention to have just finally started a relationship with her. He wasn't about to have any one touch his precious jewel that he himself after all the years of loving the rough outer areas have just begun to see and find the fine smoothness within. He knew he had just entered her wild world but he felt guilty at not being able to satisfy her and make her dizzy. He couldn't see why she wanted him but loved every moment. He wanted her and hoped she didn't wear herself out as he had done his research and was better equipped to handle her tonight. He was going to take her without any of the enjoyable yet degrading lessons. Toshiro breathed in deeply as he glided through half drunk dancing of the shinigami. He grasped Matsumoto's hand and spun her away from Renji and allowed her to regain her balance in his hands as he glared at him and Hisagi.

"And you say you can't dance?" she gasped her eyes round and filled with surprise.

"You don't have to be so possessive and angry Captain Hitsugaya we were just-," Hisagi started but was interrupted by the green eyed superior.

"I don't care for your words. The girl is mine let that be clear," he said harshly strolling out of the room towing Matsumoto behind him.

"Toshiro! The party wasn't finished. I didn't even get to spend some time with the girls!" the busty lieutenant fumed nightmarishly.

Toshiro sighed and looked at the ceiling. He did not want to begin to imagine what happens with Rangiku and the rest of the officers and couldn't deal with the headache of it.

"Frustrating," Toshiro grumbled.

"Answer me now Toshiro!" she yelled.

He took a step back and gulped his face betraying his confused and worried feelings showing a softer side to him.

Matsumoto breathed out slowly relaxing.

"Toshiro, I really don't enjoy you interrupting my fun. I am okay with it at work but I like to chill out after you know?"

"I personally, Rangiku, don't appreciate having lower rank officers dancing and touching you inappropriately in front of my eyes!"

"It's just harmless dancing. If I knew you would react like this I would not have brought you."

"Then why did you!"

"Because I wanted to spend time with you!"

"Well I didn't want to see that!"

"Toshiro I know the limits,"

"No you don't! I'm trying to protect you and my…our image. I don't want you hurt idiot!"

"You're too stifling you know that,"

"Tch,"

"So what to do now hm? Captain?"

"Just don't have any other officers have there hands on you, okay?"

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**Author's Note: That was something huh? The first fight in my story! Now the games begin. This story will be10- 20 chapters tops. I don't want to drag it along too much. I was inspired by Michael Jackson's song The girl is mine for this chapter! May he rest in peace! Why did he go!! He inspired some of the other chapters too. The line was so possessive I had to put it even though it may be a little OOC. Anyway please review when you read unless you don't like it. I have fan art out for this story already go on my profile and click home page. But be warned it's a spoiler to the plot of the story!!!!!!!!! Please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**The Struggles Of Their Destiny.**

**Chapter – 3**

**Disclaimer: I do not own bleach.**

**Here's another chapter. Hope you enjoy!

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Matsumoto walked gingerly down the hall giving her lovely smiles that brightened everyone's day however it was slightly off. Her mouth was in a tight line even while she smiled and her eye brows were knitted together. To the more experienced and outgoing shinigami it was obvious to what took place to have her on edge and in such discomfort. She had a very wild, rough, night with Toshiro. He had taken her three times that night. That wasn't a problem for her nor was it unusual. She had done it more times than that in one night already but she usually took the day off to soak in a bubble bathe and take it easy and wait for the rawness and pain to wear off. But on this nothing than glorious day she had to be out for work at seven in the morning. It was Toshiro's fault for the first time of the night but for the last two she was the trigger so she knew she couldn't complain. And she taught him how to take her in the ass so yes it was her fault.

She pushed open the door and stiffly headed to her Captain's desk. Her heart skipped a beat as she saw the smug look on her Toshiro's eyes and the sly grin on his face. He chuckled as he looked at her startled and curious expression.

"What's with that look Matsumoto?" Toshiro asked his deep green eyes boring into her, his face portrayed his amusement.

"That's what I was about to ask you," she replied with slight blush on her face.

"Well, I'm just having a good day, Rangiku."

"Hmm, It's more like you had a good time last night and you're gloating about it," She said as she looked at her chair as if it were the devil.

"Oh… You're probably not able to sit. Well, lie on the couch for a while with these papers and sort them out alphabetically."

Matsumoto took the papers with red cheeks.

Toshiro's face softened towards her_. If she only knew how I felt she would not blush at my kindness because she would know that I love her too much to ever see her hurt or mistreated._

"Don't worry Captain the pain is wearing off. I took some pain killers," she chirped.

"Well then, that's good, so sort the papers and give them out to the various shinigami they are addressed to. You don't need to sort them but it makes your work simpler," he replied in monotone his head buried in his book.

She sighed while fixing the front of her outfit and strolled out of the room. _I will head to my room first and take some of my much needed sleep before I deliver these._

************Her dreams** *********

_I raised my head for a kiss from this man who never stopped smiling._

"_Come on Matsumoto dear," Ichimaru crooned, "Let's go for a dip before the soul reapers find out."_

_I shivered as the chilly, crystal waters lapped at my feet. I hugged the pale man's arm while each step we took led us deeper into the depths of the sea. The sun rays warmth was feeble compared to the solid body that pressed against me. He slowly slipped of the netted wrap I had around me which was more for modesty than anything else. Chest deep into the water he began nipping at my neck and teasing the nerves in my back. I eased away from him and dipped under the water. My face was heating up from the sun and my body from his ministrations. I rose out of the water to find myself at waist high water and Ichimaru lounging on the shore with a camera in hand._

"_What are you doing?" I chuckled as I made my way towards him._

"_Nothing. I just saw a really pretty image and I just had to catch it on film. Although I would like to be doing something," he said earnestly as the wind blew his silky hair away from his forehead._

_I lowered myself onto him and I pressed my lips against his. I swiped my tongue into his mouth trying to get his taste but the beautiful thing was that there was none. He was tasteless. It was like kissing and indulging in innocence. Nothing there but what you put._

"_I love you," he whispered._

_Those words, those dangerous words, he says them all the time and I return them._

_He takes off my flimsy bathing suit and wraps me in a towel to protect me from preying eyes even though there isn't a single person on our end of the beach. His clothes are off and with a towel draped on his back he presses himself on top of me. His hardness tickles my thighs as he kisses my chest and plays with my nipple. The feeling causes my eyes to roll back and hot liquid streams down my legs._

_He grins at me childishly like a kid who has the perfect toy. _

"_What?" I ask biting my lip._

"_You," he replies as he slowly enters me. The feeling is intoxicating as I feel my self melt in his arms. He moves slowly while kissing me showing me how much he cares. Gentle, sweet and comforting. I reach my climax and so does he. Our liquids released simultaneously. He hugs me and I sigh, my eyes close in and I welcome the silent darkness. I pray for every day to be like this one for him to be with me always._

_My eyes fluttered open as I find myself on silk sheets and the cool ocean breeze blew on me from an open window. I was alone on the bed but not in the room. I raised my head slightly and triggered a mild headache. I looked up to see Ichimaru's back towards me as he eased up his shirt and buttoned it up swiftly._

"_Where are you going?" I ask in monotone but I knew the answer._

_My heart felt as if it were in my throat, my stomach tightened as he replied._

"_I'll see you later sweetheart. I have some things to catch up on. I'll be back sometime," he said with a sad smile._

_My eyes stare at his back until he left the room. It was expected it was not the first time he had done this. My vision blurred from the onslaught of tears and my mild headache became a throbbing one. I gasped for air, I could barely breathe. _

_He left me……He's gone again. I love him. Why does he keep leaving me? Why do I allow myself to go through this? Because I love him to much to ever let go._

************Her revelations*************

Matsumoto awoke with tears on her cheeks. Her hands trembled as wiped them away.

"Ichimaru, I can't keep thinking of you," she whispered in despair.

She had a hollow feeling in her chest as she grabbed the papers she was supposed to deliver and headed out of her room._ I need a drink _she decided_. S_he composed herself and kept her emotions in check.

She stopped off giving out the sheets to their respective persons until she bounced into Kira.

He looked into her eyes and said," I'm sorry Rangiku. What's wrong?"

But he already knew, Ichimaru.

The two of them headed to his office as his ex- captain was no longer there.

He brought out some sake and poured it out for her while she made herself comfortable on the couch.

"Kira I can't keep having dreams about him, the pain is just…"she trailed off before gulping sake down straight from the bottle.

He nodded silently understanding how she felt. For years she had been coming to him for a drink and to share her problems. Her feelings of Ichimaru and Toshiro, she told him all. They were close friends and they had a mutual comfort around each other.

"So you've been having dreams again?" he asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Yep…And I don't know why. I mean Toshiro is the one now. I mean I've loved him ever since he became my Captain," she said as pulled her hair away from her face in stress.

"You know Matsumoto it is possible to love two people at the same time…"

"I'm dreaming of Ichimaru and ….. Why did he keep leaving?...I.."

"Kira….don't think of me as childish or spoiled. I know it's pathetic….."she croaked as tears flowed from her eyes,"but I still love him and I love Toshiro."

"I…Don't ……," he sighed.

The gentle blond went over and hugged her. She buried her head into his shoulder and tried to calm herself. He wrapped his hands tightly around her waist.

"Hey no one's judging you," he said softly, "I'm your friend."

"Hey Lieutenant Kira? I'm coming in!" Toshiro said as he barged into the room." There's some trouble with your squad in the………."

Hitsugaya eyes widened as he saw Kira holding his Matsumoto.

The temperature of the room dropped immediately as Toshiro's green eyes flashed vividly.

"Captain!" Rangiku gasped as she leaned off of Kira.

"You better back off her," Toshiro growled.

"You don't under-" Kira started but was cut off.

"I understand that you will never touch her again!" he stated angrily as he grabbed the grey eyed woman.

Kira gulped and lowered his head.

"Toshiro…Kira is my friend you have no reason to react like that!" she shouted as they left the room.

"I told you to deliver the papers not get drunk and do who knows what with Kira!"

"Now you listen and listen here well!" she seethed,"Kira and I are just friends and nothing more."

"So why were you on him?!"

"He was…never mind! Toshiro, I am a free, easy going person. I know that you don't find me trust worthy but you have to trust me. I wouldn't do that to you."

"Matsumoto…then I would appreciate you not having such close approximations with your male friends. I can't trust you when your drunk and with them."

"I'm sorry Toshiro. You just need to believe me when I say that nothing will happen. I can control myself. I don't work well under your demands in this relationship!" she shouted before putting her hand on her cheek and slowly walking off. Her eyes closed in frustration.

Toshiro stood there dumbfounded and annoyed. She had never yelled at him like that before. But he didn't like her actions around other men.

Matsumoto sighed and lay on her bed. She was wild, fiery untamed. A spontaneous soul. She loved Toshiro. God did she, his stoic manner, firm reliable promises. It was fun to toy with him. See him flush at the things she did. But he had to give her some space too. She was like a fire that needed room to grow. _He was too hot-headed and the most horrible thing of all that sent her into a pit of anguish was the fact that he did not trust her._ She hugged herself as more tears trickled out of her eyes. _I am so pathetic, crying whole day like a child._

"Now who's making my lovely Rangiku cry?" a familiar voice said as he wiped the tears from her astonished face.

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Author's Note: Who's that talking to Matsumoto? I know! So review and tell me if it sucked or if it brought you joy. You know the drill. Thanks for the Reviews Kristine93, xMxRosex, IzWinchesterDevil, Electra Red, Prince Gray. Words greatly appreciated Kristine93.


	4. Chapter 4

The Struggles Of Their Destiny.

Chapter – 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

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Toshiro took a seat on his desk chair while staring at his telephone on his desk. His hands twitched and there were raised veins on this forehead as he contemplated what he could do to say he was sorry. He had replayed the entire scene in his head and knew he had overreacted. He knew she wasn't one to be too committed into something. She was a free minded, life's too short kind of woman. But he was nervous and afraid. She was the first woman he has ever crushed on and then that eventually bloomed into love. Basically, she was the first in everything in his love life, the reason he wanted to even have such a thing. He didn't want to lose her. They were exact opposites. She was the bright, warm, cheerful and fun-filled summer while he was the dark, chilly, seriousness of winter. He ran a hand through his spiky, silver hair and slumped his head onto the desk. He smirked as he recalled his way of thinking a few months back. He remembered saying quite clearly to Captain Ukitake that relationships were simple and that it was just a matter of clear communication and honesty. He didn't see why other shinigami were having problems with relationships. It was so simple; don't do something that the other person won't like. Toshiro however realised how naïve he was to have been saying those things and how inexperienced and juvenile he must have seemed. His green eyes flicked towards the door that was being opened slowly by Captain Kyouraku Shunsui. The tanned man had a sleepy smile on his face as he staggered into his office.

"The least you could have done is knock," Hitsugaya muttered with a cold glare trained on the other Captain.

"Whoa…. Is it cold in here or is it me?" he replied stretching his smile into a full blown grin which made Toshiro a bit uneasy.

"I think it's just you. Now what do you want?" the silver haired teen muttered halfheartedly.

"Well," he answered, "A lot of your subordinates are quite frightened to enter your division as some reported to me and I quote 'Captain Hitsugaya had the face of a hungry and very much constipated hollow.' There is also a considerable temperature change around here so I'm here as the Hardy boy, Frank to investigate. So what's up with you and the most beautiful missy around?"

_Boy _thought Shunsui; _If looks could kill I'd be a dead man in a pink robe._

"You felt to the need to say all of that just to find out what is wrong with me. And nothing is wrong so you can leave now," Toshiro said irritated.

"They all say that but I know you're lying and you don't want to say it because it's embarrassing, shameful and you don't know how to solve it, but don't worry kid I can help,"

Hitsugaya appraised him with a doubtful look.

"I don't mean to be rude Captain Kyouraku," he said edgily through clenched teeth, "but how can a man triple my age, that is wife less and hardly ever with a woman except for immediate satisfaction able to help me with my problems?"

"Ah……So you do have problems. Hey don't pop a vein kid. Relax a little. And why do you make one night stands sound like a boring and bad thing. It's fun and harmless once you know how to do it properly."

"Get out………"

"Nope!"

The younger Captain's face was beet red as he rubbed his temples with his fingers.

"Fine! I had a disagreement with Matsumoto,"

"Hm………So want to do about it?"

"I…I…was…wrong….and I would like to apologize to her," he stammered hesitantly.

"Well…do that. Have you ever gone on a date with her?"

"Hardly,"

"I'll take that as never. So talk to her. Matsumoto is a forgiving creature but still don't be wrong too often. A date at a restaurant will be good. Especially one with a lot of sake."

Toshiro's eyebrow twitched and his mouth was pulled into a comical sour grimace. _A lot of sake…like if I would permit that…_he thought rolling his eyes but found the suggestion one good enough to consider.

"Do you know a good one?"

"Well firstly we don't have restaurants in the soul society that you would or could carry a date to, it's more like a bar mixed with a cafeteria filled to the brim with adult sized children,"

"So I have to go to the real world to find one? Do you know where she favours?"

"Uh…….yeah but her favourite place was burnt down a few years back," Shunsui lied, "Find somewhere that's stylish, cheerful yet classy. Take her there, apologize and have fun."

_That restaurant holds to many memories of that bastard Ichimaru so it'll be better if he found his own place to make memories _he thought.

"So…How do I do that?"

"I'll get Nanao to help. She's good at stuff like that. You just have to call. What time do you want this for?"

"Uh…tomorrow……….at …….six?"

********_Meanwhile……._

"Now who's making my lovely Rangiku cry?" a familiar voice said as he wiped the tears from her astonished face.

She blinked twice in shock at the form in front of her.

"Gin…," she whispered as the wind from the open window blew his scant in her face.

Her head spun as spirals of questions appeared in her mind. Her eyes widened as her brain registered the sight of him with pain and betrayal. She wrapped her hands around herself and started to quietly sob staining the sheets with her salty tears_. Gin_ she thought, _Why can't you see I am a broken woman? A victim of your games. Why do you keep doing this to me?_

Gin smiled sadly at her.

"I didn't think the sight of me would have made you cry. If I had known your feelings had changed I would have never returned to you," he murmured.

She gasped.

Her widened gray eyes stared right into his as she spoke, "Explain returned."

She grabbed his shirt and pulled him to sit next to her on the bed.

"Do you love me Matsumoto?" he breathed softly, his mouth no longer in a smile.

"Of course I always have," she choked as tears streamed down her face.

"Will you stay with me? Be mine?" he asked his head bowed so she couldn't see his expression.

She wanted to slap him. Kick him. Castrate him. Did he know what he was doing to her? She knew she had to be strong. She was always weak under his will. One word highlighted itself in her mind. Toshiro.

She looked away and began to tremble tears still running down her cheeks. She touched his hand. The hand she loved_. I love Toshiro too._

_He's being too straight forward, moving too fast_ she thought frantically as she tried to find the right thing to say. _Say it damn it_ she urged herself

She closed her eyes and said weakly, "I love you…Why did you keep leaving me?"

He closed his eyes and sighed, "It's very difficult to explain right now dear."

Matsumoto sank on her bed and watched as he stood.

"I would like to stop leaving if you tell me you love me and will be with me,"

She turned her head away and bit her lip until it bled.

"Come with me?"

She shook her head tears flowing down her read face.

"I will be back then Rangiku. By then you would have thought about it and would do more than cry for me my love,"

Matsumoto stared after his figure that had immediately vanished from her room. She closed her eyes from exhaustion and took her much needed break from this confusion. _Sleep_ she thought _just what I need._

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Matsumoto was brought back to reality to the loud ringing of her phone. She was surrounded by a sea of darkness as she fumbled of the bed as she searched for the light switch on the wall. The sudden illumination of the room blinded her as she grabbed the phone while simultaneously make note of the time. _Nine p.m? I thought it was later. Time's moving so fast but I am not having fun._

"Hello? Toshiro?" she exclaimed surprised as she looked at the caller identification.

"Matsumoto. You must be wondering why I'm calling?"

She shut her eyes and tried to remember the possible reason for this call but instead she remembered Ichimaru.

Toshiro took the silence as a sign to continue.

"I would like to apologise to you Matsumoto for how I reacted. And I would like to take you out to dinner,"

Her heart skipped a beat as she heard that. Toshiro……….He did that for me?

Matsumoto did the only thing that would make both parties happy, agree.

"So…I'll pick you up tomorrow at five then?

"Yes…….."

"Matsumoto I….never think I don't care about you"

"I know…….."

"Is something wrong?"

"Nope…."she chuckled.

"Goodbye,"

"Bye,"

Matsumoto slumped to the floor as she hung up the phone. Toshiro……….Ichimaru…………

She decided to go to the date with Toshiro. It would be there first. But each time she began to feel happy about it her stomach would knot as she thought of Ichimaru.. She always had Ichimaru, he understood her………He knew her. But he was never there when she needed him. He always broke her heart. Toshiro always crushed on she knew. She too had a thing for him. But somehow that grew until they reached where they are now. It was rocky as the two of them were as different as day and night. But she loved them both. _What to do……….._

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Author's note: Hey everyone here's an update! Consider yourself lucky as my other stories have not been updated in months. Okay Two months and I feel bad but for the next four years of my life until University my parents want me to study so I can actually get into one. So banned from everything I am. They don't know I am doing this in secret. So please review it is one of the few pleasure in my sad dull life. I really appreciate it.


	5. Chapter 5

**The Struggles Of Their Destiny.**

**Chapter – 5.**

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or Innerpartysystem.**

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Matsumoto had a squad mission to take out some hollows on earth who appeared frequently and in great numbers on earth. Toshiro however was stuck in Soul Society with paper work. He was tired, bored and irritated. Yet he was grateful she had a mission today as if she were here it would have been torture. The loads of questions about where he was taking her and the awkwardness he would have felt about the whole thing would have been painful. He looked at the clock above his head. It read two in the afternoon. That he had meant four hours till their date. Toshiro tapped his fingers on the desk while flipping through some reports which were all irrelevant and unimportant in his view.

Toshiro looked towards the door as he heard giggling behind it. The huge oak door was opened slowly while the person who opened it, Matsumoto waved good bye to Rukia Kuchiki. The tall orange haired woman entered the room and smiled at Toshiro.

"Six p.m at the gates?" She asked her gray eyes looking at him for signs of confirmation.

He nodded as she turned and exited the room. _Well I guess she is finished with her work for the day_ Toshiro thought after she had left.

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Matsumoto settled on her bed in her room. She looked at the time and decided that it was the perfect time for her to take a nap until five and then get dressed for Toshiro. Three hours later she hopped off the bed, showered, dressed in her geigai and left for the gates but for Toshiro things weren't that easy. When he got off from work it was four in the evening and he had to look for his geigai which took him an hour and a half to find plus a suit. When he was finally decked off in his geigai and clothes he put a silver medallion of an ice dragon around his neck and a huge silver watch.

Toshiro left his apartment and headed straight for the gates but while getting there he passed in front of the Research and Development department where he stumbled into someone.

"Hinamori!" he gasped as he stumbled back a few steps.

"Toshiro! Just the person I was looking for…" she said slightly out of breath.

"What? I am sorry but I am late for something Momo…" he muttered as he looked to the side and tugged on his collar.

"I see…but this is important! There are some shocking results on the data bases of the strange reiatsu we found a few days ago," she said pulling on his sleeve.

"Can't I just deal with it in the morning?!" Toshiro exclaimed.

"Hinamori looked at him with teary eyes and said, "Toshiro I need your help now……..this is about Aizen……."

Toshiro sighed and followed her into the Research and development department.

"Captain Ukitake………..Why are you here?" Toshiro asked as he entered the room.

"For the same reason as you Captain Hitsugaya…….To help my friends…But don't you have something to do with Matsumoto?" Ukitake asked.

Toshiro glanced at Hinamori and said, "Captain Ukitake give my apologies to Matsumoto and tell her to go ahead I'll meet her there….in a while"

"Toshiro………."Hinamori whispered.

"Okay……Captain Hitsugaya we'll update you on our findings……..." Nanao said as she flipped through some flies.

"Arrancar reiatsu has been confirmed in soul society. We do not know why the Arrancar were here and some of Aizen's reiatsu was identified as well…….."

"What?!" Toshiro exclaimed, "Does the Head Captain Know of this?"

"Yes……." Hinamori answered her voice trembling, her eyes moist with the threat of tears.

Toshiro read some of the findings becoming engrossed with what was happening.

"Captain Hitsugaya. What about Matsumoto?" Nanao demanded.

"I'll be there in a while….Even though I will be informed of this in the morning, this is more important…..Aizen cannot be forgiven for what he has done and we have to figure out what he is planning now," He said.

"Oh Toshiro………. Thank you for helping………"Hinamori mumbled with a mixture of sadness and joy.

Nanao stared at Toshiro annoyed. She adjusted her glasses on her face and hugged her clipboard. She knew that what Toshiro was doing was wrong. He should cancel with Matsumoto. She was going to furious. Toshiro better get a hang of balancing the important aspects of his life or he would lose a very precious part.

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Matsumoto waited at one of the gateways to the world of the living for Toshiro but instead of a silver haired and green eyed teen she met a white haired brown eyed man.

"Ukitake……"Matsumoto said in acknowledgement of the man in front of her.

"Here……Captain Hitsugaya sent me here to tell you this," he said, "He is going to be a little late as he is helping Hinamori and the others in the Research Department."

"Oh………Well shouldn't we just cancel instead?" Matsumoto asked not talking to anyone in particular.

She felt a wave of pain in her chest. _This is our first date_ she thought_ he better show up soon……….._

"Well…."Ukitake answered, "He said he'll be there so it's best you go on….."

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Matsumoto smiled and nodded as turned on her heels and walked through the gates and arrived in front of the most expensive restaurants in New York, **Serafina**. A place known worldwide as reserved for the rich and famous. Matsumoto's gray eyes opened wide as she entered the restaurant and talked to one of the hostess.

"Hello………. Reservations under Toshiro Hitsugaya and Rangiku Matsumoto?" She asked trying to peek into the list.

The female hostess eyed Matsumoto approvingly as she was wearing a chic black dress. It was a no shoulder strap, fitted on her body revealing her curves. The dress ended midway on her thigh and was made of silk and velvet. She had two simple diamond studs in her ears and a dark metallic colour pair of shoes all put together to highlight her unique red tinted orange hair that was cut in a very special design that only her thick slightly wavy hair could pull off.

The hostess nodded and told her to follow her to their table. The restaurant wasn't anything like she expected. It was lively and high classed. Full of modern young people drinking wine and eating food more expensive than her home theatre system. As Matsumoto walked past tables, both men and women looked up to stare. Even the runway models she recognized from her magazines who were seated at a table looked up with jealousy marring their faces.

Matsumoto smirked to herself as she sat the table. It was Northern Italian restaurant and bar. She was happy it was full of wine as that was one of the alcoholic drinks she hardly ever got to drink. She opened the menu and looked at the waitress who brought water and bread sticks and asked her what she wanted. Matsumoto considered waiting until Hitsugaya arrived to order but the place was already full and busy and she wasn't too sure how long she would have a waiter for. She ordered the tuna tartare for the appetizer and now had to wait, which she was sure of, a good twenty to thirty minutes before it came. The waiter poured out the wine Toshiro had pre-ordered. She smelled deeply and then took a sip. It had a magical play on her taste buds. She opened her mouth to ask the waiter what was the name of it because the label was worn and old and she could barely read it but he was already tending to another table. The music was wonderful, very hip and electronic. She ate down the tuna tartare in no time as she was starving after the killing hollows just a few hours before. For the main course she had the grilled calamari it was heaven on a plate. And last but definitely not least, desert, which was a giant chocolate dipped croissant filled with a creamy white filling. It was all good and she felt as if she could fit in more. Two hours she had spent eating dinner and it was without Toshiro. She sighed and knew something like this might have happened. She was disappointed and hurt. _Gin never let me down when he made arrangements_ she thought but silently cursed herself for it. She giggled as she watched a drunk man and his wife stumble out of the bar area, tripping over each other.

She was starting to get really annoyed with Toshiro and decided to get some more wine at the bar. She sat at the table and told the bartender to give her anything once it was full of flavour. She had intended to learn the names of some of the wines she drank but decided not to as her feeling of disappointment began to consume her.

As she drank glass after glass of different wines that the bartender thought she would like all exotic and undoubtedly expensive. The lights dimmed in the bar area as people began to sway to the music. She really loved the high class life style of New York. She looked around at the well dressed people who were all zoned out feeling the pounding of the music. She ordered another glass and flipped her hair from her shoulder.

"Hey there," a male voice said behind her.

For a moment Matsumoto's heart skipped a beat as she thought it was Toshiro but realised that the voice was a little too low and smooth.

She turned around one hand holding her glass the other pushing her hair back from her face.

"Hi," she said with a cheerful smile.

The man was tall, had pale, cream colour skin, bright flashing teeth and blue eyes. His hair was pitch black and cropped in a messy rocker style with hair partially covering one eye. He wore a black jacket suit, a blue shirt that's length fell at his hip and was out of his black jeans. Overall he was stunning rocker guy that girl's would die to have.

"Wanna dance?" he asked holding out his hand.

Matsumoto shot down the rest of the wine.

"Sure. Why not?" she said her hand on her hip the other in his hand as they walked a bit in to the middle of the crowd where people were dancing.

She loved the song that played and began to dance to it with the rocker guy following her lead.

You can feel the pounding  
Wrapped around your chest  
Nothing's too excessive  
When you've got nothing left

We're all here 'cos we've lost control  
We're all here 'cos we've lost control  
We're all here 'cos we've lost control  
We're all here 'cos we've lost control

If we all should die tonight  
We will have no regrets  
If we all should die tonight  
We will have no regrets

If this night should take my life  
(We can't go back we can't go)  
If we all should die tonight  
(we can't go back we can't go)

You can see the plastic  
Dripping off your face  
We may not all be pretty  
But we feel pretty fake…………………………….

She left the restaurant after the song finished. She had almost forgotten about what she was so disappointed about. She had flirted with the guy for a while but left him while he was getting drinks. She wasn't as drunk as she hoped to be and was feeling lonely and abandoned as she arrived at soul society. She spent approximately one thousand five hundred dollars on food and wine. She wouldn't be able to buy clothes or even eat for a while now. She sighed as she headed over to the research department to talk to Toshiro. She didn't know what she was going to do or say…………. She thought this night would have been magical something special to remember. But she knew she probably expected too much……He's not Ichimaru who knew how to do that……..Her fault really….Right?

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**Author's Note: Poor Matsumoto. Why Toshiro? Here's another chapter. Please review. It was hard to put together! And for those who have been to Serafina…..I know I changed it up a bit but I needed to shape it for my story so sorry! Inspired by Inner party system. Review please…………………….**


	6. Chapter 6

**The Struggles Of Their Destiny.**

**Chapter – 6.**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach.

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Matsumoto stopped and lightly touched the white post next to her as she leaned against the railing. She was two corridors away from the research department. She sighed wondering what she could possibly say to him. She stepped away from the railing and ran her long, tapered fingers through her heaven sent hair. She was still wearing her metallic shoes from the other night as she had come quite attached the three inch heels. She debated last night whether to drink her worries away but somehow had no heart for it. She stared at the bottle for fifteen minutes before going to bed. She couldn't face him last night; she just didn't have the energy.

The door opened and Toshiro Hitsugaya swallowed. His eyes filled with anticipation and regret. He knew was a dead man. He remembered Shunsui's words. Matsumoto is not a nice person to have on her bad side. She looked at him with detached eyes .It was almost as if she was looking through him and was staring at something behind him. He knew there was only a blank wall behind him, nothing to see. When Rangiku withdrew her warmth and love it was as if the sun died. It was colder than the icy blasts of hyorimaru which he knew quite well. He stared at her, his green eyes wide and full of remorse and guilt.

"Matsumoto…….." Toshiro said as he made a cautious step towards her.

"Stop. Captain, you don't trust me and now it seems as though I can't trust you," she said in monotone.

Toshiro opened his mouth to speak but Matsumoto interrupted.

"I think we should take a break," she whispered uneasily as she fidgeted awkwardly.

Toshiro's eyes widened. It was too sudden. He didn't think she would say this, at least not yet. He felt as if the air in his lungs got knocked out of him. He struggled to speak as she walked away. _I love you he thought. _He felt as if he was losing everything. He knew he couldn't live without her being there even as just a friend. He didn't want to go a day without hearing her voice, smelling her, loving her and seeing her. He panicked as his throat dried.

He gulped and let out a strangled, "I love you Matsumoto."

She stopped and turned. He eyes glassy with tears. She had always waited for someone to tell her that. Of course Gin told her that before but it never held any meaning. It came out easily as water would flow out a waterfall. But Toshiro was not one to say those things without meaning. Her face showed her confusion as she nodded. _Toshiro……You aren't making this easy for me._ Tears trickled down her face as her heart pounded against her chest. She stepped lightly towards him, closing the space between them. She kissed him lightly on the lips and whispered softly.

"I love you too Teichou,"

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**_Flashback_**

**_Her First Kiss, his first neglectful act, her new purpose._**

He saved her. She was fourteen and alone starving in the desert. She had no idea how she got there or why her heart soared when she saw that white haired boy who looked to be the same age as her. He fed her some bitter tasting fruit before she blacked out again. When she awoke she knew she was dependant on this boy. And she didn't care for that everlasting smile of his that made her feel that life was nothing to worry about and she should just relax.

He wasn't carefree as most would think as everyday at his small shack at the edge of district 104, one of the poorest and cruelest, he took care of her. After three weeks of his companionship and care, young Matsumoto was sure she never wanted to leave his side. She was attached to him. He seemed the same to her.

Matsumoto sat on the side of Ichimaru's bed while he slept. She leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the forehead. She finally decided to act on impulse. It was better than the frustrating feeling of doing nothing with her feelings. The scent of him was of cinnamon with the sharp contrast of lime. It was an unusual contrast of sharp and fierce with calm and inviting. It was very unique and quite homey. She jumped as she felt his fingers wrap around her arms and pull her so that her lips were directly above his. He rose upwards and slid his tongue over her lips tasting it. His wet tongue swept over them twice and then it stopped right there. No lip contact or mouth contact. He winked and closed his eyes leaving her stunned and confused. She blushed at being found out and was furious at the tease. She sucked her lips getting a bit of his taste and wondered what it would be like to kiss him fully and melt into him.

She tried her best to make herself as useful as possible wanting to impress him with whatever she could for one reason, to have him smile at her and never look at her without it. She hoped that giving him herself could satisfy just for the while her debt until she could do more. He never did before that day; look at her without a smile, but she had seen him look at another person without that smile, it had meant that things were very wrong. It was when he had lost his small job at the small shack of a supermarket he worked at. It was from there things had started to go downhill. For two days he was gone while she waited worriedly expecting the worst. The next day she awoke from the morning sun rays beaming directly in her face and he was there. He was at the door his face held no smile or single drop of emotion as he spoke.

"I'm going to become a soul reaper. This life isn't for me. I'm destined for greater and so are you deary,"

"What?"

"I suggest that you become one too. I really don't want someone with such beauty and talent to be wasted. Ok?"

"Wait….B-Bu-?!"

"I really do hope you become one…I would love to meet you again. I want our paths to cross again sweetheart,"

She panicked as he opened the door to leave and whispered in a hoarse soft voice ,"If you leave me here, here alone…..you should just go straight to hell."

He walked over towards her, grabbed her by the shirt and pulled her into a rough, passionate kiss before vanishing through the door.

Matsumoto touched her lips while tears streamed down her cheeks. She had her first kiss with the man, whom she was determined to have him be, her first and only true love for the rest of her life. For him, to get him, to find him she would become a soul reaper. It was all for him.

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**Author's Note: **Hey...Long time no see! Short I know but it will get somewhere longish soon. . Please review. I'll show you a better chapter next night!


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